How To Be A Gentleman

By Brian Christensen & Daniel McLean


When you hear the word “gentleman” it brings to mind several characteristics and qualities that would distinguish it from the word “man.” Man is a more general classification of gender, where as gentleman, separates itself as a specific type of man.


There’s the traditional gentleman. We’ve all heard that a gentleman opens a door for a lady. He also pulls out her chair when she sits down for a nice meal. A gentleman is polite. He never belches in front of a lady, and on the occasion that one slips past, always excuses himself. A gentleman always says thank you and please, and is attentive to all conversations. These are all the things that your grandmother taught you to do.

These are the courtesies that we dust off on prom, or when we take that special someone out for an elegant evening. But, being a gentleman is more than just opening the door for a young lady when you take her out on a date. Being a gentleman is a way of life. A gentleman exhibits exceptional qualities and character within himself and in his interaction with others. These traits closely resemble the character of our Master, Jesus Christ. Jesus is the perfect man and gentleman!

We all fall short of this perfect model, but He’s always there to show us the path. It’s up to all of us to walk it. If you want to be loved, you have to be lovable. Gentleness is love in action. Being considerate, meeting the needs of others, allowing for another person to talk and being willing to learn and grow are essential traits for both men and women. James 3:17,18 tells us that the wisdom from God is pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. James goes on to say, “the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace and by those who make peace.” Being a gentleman is also being genuine and paying attention to detail.

A man can be a gentleman by doing things for other people such as helping church members move, or painting their house. Helping a co-worker with a task is another good way to help someone. Sometimes people just need to talk. One of the best ways to be a gentleman is to have a shoulder for someone to cry on. We all have problems in life that we need to talk about with someone else. It’s important to be there for a friend or family member when something is bothering them.

A lot of the time people will confide small things with you. Quite often, these are just the surface thoughts of a much bigger issue. Being a gentleman is being there to listen to anyone when they have these problems. It could be a church member, a family member, friend, or co-worker. No matter who it is, it’s important to listen to them. You don’t really even have to have a solution to their problem. It’s a healing process just to vent, and part of being a Christian and a gentleman is to listen.


A gentleman is not overly concerned with himself. We all have our own problems and issues to deal with, but part of the mission that Christ left with us is to love one another. That’s a difficult thing to do sometimes. When someone cuts us off, our first thought is probably not, “Well, he’s just having a bad day and has other problems.” We usually respond with a long train of explicatives and a not so Christian gesture. When you have a reaction like that, stop to think about how many times you might have done that to someone else.

James 3:1-16 shows us that no one, except Jesus, is perfect. We all stumble and must watch ourselves carefully to control the whole body. Even the smallest of things can affect everyone. James uses examples of a horse’s bit and the rudder of a ship. These items are very small in comparison to the larger, powerful objects they affect and control. He then explains how our tongue is a small member that can boast great things and defile the whole body. Our tongue can be like a small match that can burn down a vast forest. It can set a course for disaster and be fueled by Satan. We simply cannot bless our God and curse men out of the same mouth! “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom” (James 3:13).

Being a gentleman is more than holding a door open, or giving flowers to someone. These actions are good, however, the actions of a gentleman go much further and deeper. To be a true gentleman, we must start by studying and understanding the life and character of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. When we allow God’s wisdom to mold and shape our character, we then become more like Christ and exhibit true love in our daily life and relationships. Being a gentleman is more than just talk. It is love in action.


love in action. i need more action