I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE

In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness You are there
In the secret, in the quiet hour
I wait only for You
'Cause I want to know You more

I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize
Pressing onward, pushing every hindrance aside
Out of my way
'Cause I want to know You more


===============================================

Bleh. Shack. lectures = nap time.
decide to skip the last 2 hrs of law lectures and head home... BUT
half way my friend car tyre punched. ahaa. We have a good laugh. This is the 2nd time. The first was on his old car and today, his new corolla.
Well well, we have it changed on the highway within 10 mins and continued our way home. Guess being a vechicle tech in the NS helps after all.


The death of Xu Wei Lun hit me on monday morning. Life is so fagile.
And at that moment I make up my mind. I dont want to live with anymore regret.
so there you go ~ coffee session !

AN ANGEL

You learn a lot above living,
watching someone die...
You learn that life isn't fair
and death doesn't care
and suffering visits us all.

You try to ease the pain,
to stop the torrent of rain
that floods your heart and eyes.
You turn your face away,
afraid they'll see how much you hurt
and try to fix it for you...

You learn that gifts don't really matter
and money matters less.
You'd give it all back,
everything you've ever owned,
just to make her whole again.
You stroke her face,
you stroke her hands and talk of happy times...
Of walks in parks and camping trips,
of water dancing over rocks
and Christmas mornings brightly wrapped...
You talk of bike rides and snowball fights
and picnics in the sun.

And when you can talk no more
you sit and pray and argue
and beg and plead with the Giver of Life.
One more month, or week, or day,
you plead in sobs choked with fear.
Then beg.
Take her home, because you can't bear to watch her suffer.
Actually, you can't bear to watch her suffer,
knowing she's watching you.

When hair is gone, and breath is short
and nights are long and hope has faded like the flowers
by her bed, you learn that only love remains.

You learn a lot about living, in watching someone die ...

===========================================================

who know? like what Amelia have said. she may be an angel.
Thought her's journey was short, it was lived to the fullest.

She has shown us how to love without fear and treasured pple fiercely;
standing by their side thru trouble waters and sand storm;
love, come with no price-tag;
be happy for no reason;
be busy with the smallest matter;
to yarn with all your might for what you desire.

BUILDING ON STRENGTH

Quote - 'To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man' - W. Shakespeare



Build on strengths, not on your weaknesses.

Know what your strengths are and build on those.

Know your weaknesses and let others do that.

What are you good at?

Not what do you think you are good at, or what would you like to be good at, but what works in your world?

This is God's gift in you.

Accept it, nourish it, develop it, maximise it and do it!

Just because something works for someone else, doesn't mean it will work for you.

Learn from others but don't get hijacked.

Structure your organisation around the gifts in peoples lives.

Build on strengths.




By Phil Pringle

IM OK. THANKS

I know u will be reading this if you still remember the addr. Haha.
Thanks for the movie, the mineral water, the chat, and with refusing to talk after having to come up with topics which we all end up silence. =)


AND Pleassssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. please stick to the plan. =)

SHE HAS TOLD OF MUCH - ONLY I WAS BLIND AND DEAF

I will never have notice. Till now. Till its too late. She has told parts and pieces of her life. hidden amg the norm. Yet i was blind. I was deaf. Her birthday wasnt really dec. its was april. its in her password that she passed me. Yet I was too blind to see it. Her name was always a mystery. Till the end, then I got to know her real full name. jessica. Li Shun Yun. Why do you have to hide such a beautiful name? or was i mute. i didnt ask.

Now, how am I going to celebrate her birthday? We are heaven and earth apart.

GOD HANDS OF DESTRUCTION

A passage from THE FIFTH MOUNTAIN

Where have I sinned, O Lord? At what moment have I strayed from what Thou desirest of me? If Thou art discontent with me, why hast Thou not taken me from this world? Instead, Thou hast afflicted yet again those who succored me and loved me.

i do not understand Thy designs. I see no justice in Thy acts. In bearing the suffering Thou hast imposed on me. I am sorely wanting. Remove Thyself from my life, for I too am reduces to ruins, fire, and dust."

He desired nothing: he possed no love, no hate, no faith.

MY PRAYER FOR YOU - JESSICA

I miss you, I am lonely without you. I am devastated that you were taken from me. I am angry that you had to suffer so. It was hard to see you in your torment and pain. But that’s not how I will remember you.

I will always remember you full of life and warmth and kindness. I will remember the laughter and the love. I will remember the precious time we shared. I will remember your vitality and your grace.

Your death left a gaping hole in my life. But hard as it is to be without you, I take comfort in the knowledge that you are at last in peace and free of pain.

Rest in peace. God bless you. Amen.

勇敢的幸福

伴着盛开的花蝴蝶才能飞舞
带着希望梦想才能飞往高处
迎着温暖的风我们不再无助
因为你的祝福我的爱不辛苦
呼吸感动我不再退步
让音乐赶走我的孤独
我的勇气因为你的保护
不曾停下追逐真爱的脚步
种下爱种下梦种下我们的心愿
让阳光照亮在我们心灵最深处
那些事那些歌伴着我们的誓约
不能哭我们要挑战未知旅途
不怕输我们有笑声交织着泪水
最勇敢的幸福

this is the song that you love. you have forseen it coming?

不能哭我们要挑战未知旅途
不怕输我们有笑声交织着泪水
最勇敢的幸福

I'll try. really! I'll try. but its so hard !

GOODBYE

You never give me a chance to say goodbye. I hate myself for losing myself in works and studies. Now that u are gone forever. part of my heart will go with you.

I will always remember you. For your care, your love and always standing by my side.

The heaven will pour down my tears for you.


Rest in peace. kitty. love you always.

THE FIFTH MOUNTAIN - AFTERMATHS

OF PAST AND FAILURE
------------------------------
"It's better to start rebuilding life right away," he said. "It will take a long time for everything to return to what it was."

"It will never return."

"You look like a wise young man, and you can understand many things that I cannot. But nature has taught me something that I shall never forget: a man who depends on the weather and the seasons, as a shepherd does, manages to survive the unavoidable. He cares for his flock, treats each animal as if it were the only one, tries to help the mothers with their young, is never too far from a place where the animal can drink. Still, now and again one of the lambs to which he gace so much of himself dies in an accident. It might be a snake, some wild animal, or even a fall over a cliff. But the unavoidable always happens."

Elijah looked in the direction of Akbar and recalled his conversation with the angel. The unavoidable always happens.

"You need discipline and patience to overcome it," the shepherd said.

"And hope. When that no longer exists, one can't waste his energy fighting against the impossible."

"It's not a question of hope in the future. It's a questiono of re-creating your own past."

"I didn't understand what you said before," commented ELijah. "About re-creating your own past."

"I have long seen people passing through here on their way to Sidon and Tyre. Some of them complained that they had not achieved anything in AKbar and were setting out for a new destiny. One day these people would return. They had not found what they were seeking, for they carried with them, along with heir bags, the weight of their earlier failure.

A few returned with a government position, or with the joy of having given their children a better life, but nothing more. Their past in Akbar had left them fearful, and they lacked the confidence in themselves to take risks.

On the other hand, there also passed my door people full of ardor. They had profited from every moment of life in Akbar and through great effort had accumulated the money for their journey. To these people, life was a constant triumph and would go on being one.

These people also returned, but with wonderful tales to tell. They had achieved everything they desired because they were not limited by the frustrations of the past."




OF PERHAPS... PERHAPS
--------------------
"Perhaps I could have prevented the invasion."

The shepherd laughed. "even if you were governor of Akbar, you would not be able to stop the unavoidable."

"Perhaps the governor of Akbar should have attacked the Assyrians when they first arrived in the valley with few troops. Or negotiated peace, before war broke out."

"everything that could have happened but did not is carried away with the wind and leaves no trace," said the shepherd. "Life is made of our attitudes. And there are certain things that the gods oblige us to live through. Their reason for this does not matter, and there is no action we can take to make them pass us by."



OF PAIN AND SUFFERING
----------------------
"The pain you and I feel will never go away, but work will help us to bear it. Suffering has no strength to wound a weary body."



OF LIFE LESSON
--------------
"A child can always teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires."



OF STRUGGLES
--------------
THAT NIGHT, a man entered Jacob's tent and wrestled with him until the break of fay. And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he said, :Let me go."

Jacob answered, "I will not let thee go, except thou bless me."

THen the man said to him:"As a prince, hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. What is thy name?" And he said, Jacob.

And the man answered:" Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel."

ELIJAH AWOKE WITH A START AND LOOKED AT THE FIRMAMENT. That was the story that was missing!

Long ago, the patriarch JAcob had encamped, and during he night, someone had entered his tent and wrestled with him until daybreak. Jacob accepted the combat, even knowing that his adversary was the Lord. At morning, he had still not been defeated; and the combat ceased only when God agreed to bless him.

The story had been transmitted from generation to generation so that no one would ever forget: somethimes it was necessary to struggle with God.

Every human being at some time had tragedy enter his life; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a son, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer His question: "Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?"

The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that GOd had been unjust, would challenge his own destiny. It was at this moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens - not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities.

Cowards never allow thier hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. THe brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything. including God, and continue onward.

"The brave are always stubborn."

From heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this that He desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life. For, in the final analysis, He had given His children the greatest of all gifts: the capacity to choose and determine their acts.

Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront Him. And they alone know the path back to His love, for they understood that tragedy was not punishment but challenge.



OF MEANING TO LIFE
-------------------
Many, many years before, on a night like this, Jacob had not allowed God to leave without blessing him. It was then that the Lord had asked: "What is thy name?"

The essential point was this: to have a name. When Jacob had answered, God had baptized him Israel. Each one has a name from birth but must learn to baptize his life with the word he has chosen to give meaning to that life.

"I am Akbar," she had said.
The destruction of the city and the death of the woman he loved had been necessary for Elijah to understand that he too must have a name. And at that moment he named his life Liberation.

Like Elijah, they too could choose a name for themselves. Reconciliation, Wisdom, Lover, Pilgrim - there were as many choics as stars in the sky, but each one had need to give a name to this life.

Elijah rose and prayed," I fought Thee, Lord, and I am not ashamed. And because of it I discovered that I am on my path
beacuse such is my wish, not because it was imposed on me by my father and mother, by the customs of my country, or even by Thee. It is to Thee, O Lord, that I would return at this moment. I wish to prasie Thee wit hthe strength of my will and not with the cowardice of one who has not known how to choose another path. But for Thee to confide to me Thy important mission, I must contniue this battle against Thee, untill Thou bless me."

To rebuild Akbar. What Elijah thought was a challenge to God was, in truth, his reencounter with Him.



OF CHALLENGE
-------------
"There are moments when God demands obedience. But there are moments in which He wishes to test our will and challenges us to understand His love. We understood that will Akbar's walls tumbled to the ground: they opened our horizon and allowed each of us to see his capabilities. We stopped thinking about life and choose to live it."



OF THOSE CROSSED PATH
-----------------------
"Long since, the desert wind wiped away our footprints in the sand. But at every second of my existence, I remember what happened, and you still walk in my dreams and in my reality. Thank you for having crossed my path."


OF SADNESS AND DEPARTING
-----------------------
"This sadness you read in my eyes is part of my story. Only a small part that will last but a few days. Tomorrow, when I depart for Jerusalem, it will not have the strength it had before, and little by little it will disappear. Sadness does not last forever when we walk in the direction of that which we always desired."

Is it always necessary to leave?"

"It's always necessary to know when a stage of one's life has ended. If you stubbornly cling to it after the need has passed, you lose the joy and meaning of the rest. And you risk being shaken to your senses by God."

"The Lord is stern."

"Only with those He has chosen."



OF GOOD AND EVIL
-------------------------
" Can God be evil?"

"God is all-powerful," answered Elijah. "He can do anything, and nothing is forbidden to Him, for if it were, there would exist someone more powerful than He, to prevent His doing certain things. In that case, I should prefer to worship and revere that more powerful someone."

"Still, because of His infinite power, He chose to do only Good. IF we reach the end of our story, we shall see that often Good is disguised as Evil, but it goes on being the Good, and is part of the plan that HE created for humanity."

ORDINARY MIRACLE

Sarah McLachlan
Ordinary Miracle

It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own

Isn't it remarkable?
Like every time a rain drop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Birds and winter have their fling
But always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we're all a part
Of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle

Do you want to see a miracle?

It seems so exceptional
That things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today

It's just another ordinary miracle today

THE FIFTH MOUNTAIN

The trials of Elijah turn into a beautiful inspiring story, What is unknown to us, what he have gone thru, the pain, the struggles.. ... it is thru him we may catch a glim of our own shadow in him... I cried from the beginning of the story to the end.
Never have I found so much answers to my struggles at once.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------



OF THE VIEW OF THE WORLD - SIMPLE COMPLEXITY?
---------------------------------

He felt he was drawing near. The rivulet was flowing at his side, a few crows were circling in the sky, the plants clinging insitently to life in the sandy, sterile terrain. Had they listened to the words of their forebears, what would they have heard?

"Rivulet, seek a better place for your limpid waters to reflect the brightness of the sun, for the desert will one day dry you up," the god of waters would have said, if perchance one existed. "crows, there is more food in the forests than among rocks and sand," the god of birds would have said. "Plants, spread your seeds far from here, because the world is full of humid, fertile ground, and you will grow more beautiful," the god of flowers would have said.

But the Cherith, like plants and the crows, one of which had perched nearby, had the courage to do what other rivers, or birds, or flowers thought impossible.

Elijah fixed his gaze on the crow.

"i'm learning, " he told the bird. "Though the lesson is a futile one, for I am condemned to death."

"You have discovered how everything is simple," the crow seemed to reply. "Having courage is enough."



OF WORK / SERVING OTHERS
---------------------------------


While Elijah was doing as she asked, he heard her say that her work was a way of expressing the presence of God.

"From the way you make the trays, I can see that you have the same feeling," she had continued. "beacuse you smile as you work."

The woman divided human beings into 2 groups: those who took joy in, and those who complained about, what they did.

"Yes, I remember the woman. SHe was right; I did enjoy my work in the carpentry shop. She taught me to talk to things."

"If you had not worked as a carpenter, you would not have been able to place your sould outside yourself, to pretend that it is a crow talking, and to understand that you are better and wiser than you believe," came the reply. "Because it was in the carpentry shop that you discovered the sacred that is in all things."

"I always took pleasure in pretending to talk to the tables and chairs I built; wasn't that enough? And when I spoke to them, I usually found thoughts that had never entered my head. The woman had told me that it was because I had put the greater part of my soul into the work, and it was this part that answered me.




OF HOW LIMITED I FEEL
---------------------------------


"It was part of your apprenticeship. WHen a man journeys toward his destiny, often he is obliged to change paths. At other times, the forces around him are too powerful and he is compelled to lay aside his courage and yield. All this is part of the apprenticeship."

Elijah listened attentively to what his soul was saying.
"But no one can lose sight of what he desires. Even if there are moments when he believes the world and the others are stronger. The secret is this: do not surrender."




OF DOUBTS
---------------------------------
"I have seen you at other times, and have obeyed the angel of the Lord," replied Elijah, without raising his head. "And yet I have done nothing but sow misfortune wherever I go."
But the angel contnied:
"When thou returnest to the city, ask three times for the boy to come back to life. The third time, the Lord will hearken unto thee."

"Why am I to do this?"

"For the grandeur of God."

"Even if it comes to pass, I have doubted myself. I am no longer worthy of my task," answered Elijah.

"Every man hath the right to doubt his task, and to forsake it from time to time; but what he must not do is forget it. Whoever doubteth not himself is unworthy - for in his unquestioning belief in his ability, he commiteth the sin of pride. Blessed are they who go through moments of indecision."





OF DIRECTION AND FEELING OF LOST
-------------------------------

But there Elijah stood, carrying out what had been demanded of him, bearing within him the weight of the war to come, the massacre of the prophets by Jezebel, the death by stoning of the Assyrian general, his fear of loving a wman of Akbar. The Lord had given him a gift, and he did not know what to do with it.

in teh middle of the valley, a light appeared. It was not his guardian angel, the one he heard but seldom saw. It was an angel of the Lord, come to console him.

"I can do nothing further here," said Elijah. "When will I returen to Israel?"

"When thou learnest to rebuild," answered the angel. "But remember that which God taught Moses before a battle. Make use of every moment so that later thou wilt not regret, nor lament having lost thy youth. To every age in the life of a man, the Lord bestoweth upon him its own misgivings."





OF LOVE
---------------------------------

"I have so wished for love in my life," he thought. And yet, now that it was before him - and beyond doubt it was there; all he had to do was not run away from it - his sole thought was to forget it as quickly as possible.

His mind returned to the day he came to Akbar, after his exile on the Cherith. He was so weary and thirsty that he could remember nothing except the moment he recovered from fainting, and seeing her drip water onto his lips. His face was very close to hers, closer than he had evr been to any woman in his entire life. He had noticed that she had Jezebel's greem eyes, but with a different glow, as if they could reflect the cedar trees, the ocean of which he had often dreamed but never known, and --- how could it be? -- her very soul.

"I should so like to tell her that," he thought. "But I don't know how. It's easier to speak of the love of God."


Elijah stared at the wall of his room for a long time. Finally, he decided to invoke his angel.

"My soul is in danger," he said.

The angel said nothing. Elijah was in doubt about continuing the conversation, but now it was too late: he could not call him forth for no reason.

"When I'm with that woman, I don't feel good."

"Just the opposite," answered the angel. "And that disturbs thee, because thou canst come to love her."

Elijah felt shame, for the angel knew his soul.

"Love is dangerous," he said.

"Very," replied the angel. "And so?"


"I am waging combat in vain," he thought. "Love will win this battle, and I will love her all of my days. Lord, send me back to Israel so hat I may never have o tell this woman what i feel. Because she does not love me and will say to me that her heart lies buried alongside the body of her heroic husband."



OF DECISION
--------------------------
Why must I choose between saving this city and redeeming my people?

"Beacuse a man must choose," answered the angel. "Therein lieth his strength: the power of his decisions."

"Even more difficult is defining a path for oneself. He who maketh no choice is dead in the eyes of the Lord, though he go on breathing and walking in the streets."

"Moreover," the angel continued, "no one dieth. The arms of eternity open for every soul, and each one will carry on his task. There is a reason for everything under the sun."




OF PAIN AND SUFFERING
-------------------------

"My people fell away from the Lord because of a woman's beauty. Phoenicia may be destroyed because a priest thinks that writing is a threat to gods. WHy does He who made the world prefer to use tragedy to write the book of fate?"

Elijah's cries echoed through the valley to return to his ears.

"Thou knowest not whereof thou speakest," the angel replied. "There is no tragedy, only the unavoidable. Everything hath its reason for being: thou needest only distinguish what is temporary from what is lasting."

"What is temporary?" asked Elijah.

The unavoidable."

"And what is lasting?"

"The lessons of the unavoidable."

THE FRUIT OF PATIENCE

(Based on Psalm 40: 1--3)

The world moves at the fingertips of people today. It is fast. This quick-paced life has brought benefits. But it has also affected the spiritual life of Christians. One important change that has come in the life of believers as a result of being influenced by the fast-paced life is the disappointment caused by false expectations. By false expectations it is meant unrealistic expectations and not wrong expectations. And it is best reflected in their relationship with God.

A relationship with God is in most ways comparable to a relationship with another human being. It takes time to make a relationship work and become fruitful for both concerned. There are no shortcuts. But the fast-paced life has set unrealistic expectations. People tend to get disappointed when God does not act at once. In other words, believers run out of patience very quickly. They are not ready to wait for God.

The Psalmist, on the other hand, waited patiently for God. During this waiting period he might have endured discouragement because of the delay in getting his prayer answered. He might have doubted whether it was worthwhile waiting for God's answer. He may also have attempted to solve his problems by himself. In spite of all this he waited.

Then it is said that God turned to him and heard his cry. Now, the question, ``What was God doing all this time?'' can be asked. Though we cannot exactly know the reasons for the delay, a few of them might be easily guessed. During times of delay, God allows the Christian to learn that there are no easy answers to struggles of faith. The battles are real. A Christian definitely needs to learn that Christian life is no fairy-tale-ending. Another reason is that God wants the Christian to know that by himself he cannot fight and win the battle against sin and sinful nature. This understanding caused the Psalmist to describe his position as being in a slimy pit full of mud and mire. Any attempt to get out of that pit was useless. The moment one thought that he was out of it, he would find himself slipping down further.

But the Christian can learn all this during patient waiting only. During this time he attempts to get out of the pit many times. He makes new resolutions after each failure, gathers strength and tries again and again. But he fails. Then there comes a time when he realizes that if ever he will get out of the slimy pit, it has to be entirely God's doing. It is then that God acts.

God now sees the fruit of patience developing in His child. He steps in and lifts him out of the slimy pit and out of the mud and mire. Sometimes years would have passed by before the Christian would have developed the fruit of patience in his life. And the time that God choses to step in is the time when a Christian would have learned to appreciate a world free from mud and mire. The fact is that many Christians just love to be in the slimy pit. That to them is comfortable. And God usually does not step in to deliver a Christian; until he badly longs to get out of the slimy pit.

Again, God moves a step further. The Christian might have just desired to get out of the slimy pit. He might have not thought of anything beyond that. But God wants His children to be in places of strength and security. He sets the feet of the Psalmist on a rock. The Psalmist says that God gave him a firm place to stand.

What is the significance of this move by God? It is a question worth asking. The essence of this act of God is that, God is not satisfied with just deliverance. He wants His children to be strong in Him. It is for this that He places them on a rock. Imagine the difference between a person in a slimy pit and a person standing on a rock. A person in a slimy pit struggles to maintain his balance. But a person standing on a rock is steady. He can make progress from that firm place. Whereas the person in the slimy pit always remains in a position of struggling. His energies are thus used unproductively. But the person on a rock is free to move forward.

It is therefore not surprising that a Christian who finds this new-found freedom sings. Again, he sings not old songs, but a new song. This new song is also given to him by God. See, God celebrates victories. And one of the best ways He does it is by putting a new song in your mouth. He not only delivers you but also enables you to praise Him in song.

And it is when you sing God's praises, celebrating the deliverance that God gave you, that others will note the difference it has made in your life. They would suddenly note that such a deliverance was impossible by your own strength or effort. Immediately they will acknowledge God's hand in that deliverance. They will then fear the Lord your God and put their trust in Him.

This is the blessed fruit of patience. And this is the story of God lifting you up out of the slimy pit and placing you on a rock!

折下自己的翅膀 - 送给你飞翔

做远远看护的月光
不做阻挡你的墙
我的爱是折下自己的翅膀
送给你飞翔

WHERE'S THE ANSWER? THE HELP? THE GUIDANCE?

Im looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking looking
for them.

God help. U are needed always. Dont keep them to yourself =( Let me be your vessal.

Does Not Thresh Forever

Grain must be ground to make bread; so one does not go on threshing it forever. Though he drives the wheels of his threshing cart over it, his horses do not grind it (Isaiah 28:28 NIV).

Bread is the final product we get after a lot of processes. And from this process that God has given man wisdom to learn we can understand much about spiritual discipline. Threshing is the process through which grain is beaten out from its husk. Thus the grain and chaff are separated. But this process is not continued beyond a reasonable point. It is stopped when the grain is ready for the next step.

Grain retains its shape though the process was unpleasant. But soon it will be ground to make bread. It is a much painful process. Then grain will lose its shape and will be broken to pieces and finally to real powder. It is at this point of time when it becomes flour that it becomes ready to make bread. It is only in such a condition that it can bring nourishment and health to the one who eats of it.

The lesson to be learnt is simple yet full of depth. God knows when to thresh us and remove the impurities that cover us. But He does not go on doing it forever. Then He puts us through deeper tests to grind us to be useful to others. But again the horses do not grind it, but only the wheels of the threshing cart are used. This means that God also knows what form of discipline is to be used to make us ready for the Master's use. It also means that He will not use undue pressure to break us down. There is a time and method for every discipline from God. Therefore we can take heart when we are threshed and ground for God's business. Someday He will make this fine work complete. Then it will be perfect for its use.

WHAT IS LOVE

A few years ago, I spoke to a group of high-schoolers about the Jewish idea of love.

"Someone define love," I said.

No response.

"Doesn't anyone want to try?" I asked.

Still no response.

"Tell you what: I'll define it, and you raise your hands if you agree. Okay?"

Nods.

"Okay. Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person."

Every hand went up. And I thought, Oy.

This is how many people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation (based on physical and emotional attraction) that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. or Ms. Right appears. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.

The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 -- chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.)

So what is love -- real, lasting love?

Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.
Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.



The word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. ("I'm captivated by your values!" he told her passionately. "And I've never met a man with such morals!" she cooed.) But in her study of real-life successful marriages ("The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts"), Judith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding."

To the Jewish mind, it isn't unexpected at all. What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.

LOVE IS A CHOICE

If love comes from appreciating goodness, it needn't just happen -- you can make it happen. Love is active. You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.

I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced. This man naturally saw the good in others, and our being there said enough about us that he could love us. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.

Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.

Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David. When she called her parents to tell them the good news, they were elated. At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David."

Susan was a bit dubious. "Mom," she said hesitantly, "I really appreciate your feelings, but, in all honesty, how can you say you love someone you've never met?"
By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.



"We're choosing to love him," her mother explained, "because love is a choice."

There's no better wisdom Susan's mother could have imparted to her before marriage. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone.

ACTIONS AFFECT FEELINGS

Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka (charity) will get you there. Likewise, the best way to feel loving is to be loving -- and that means giving.

While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth (as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness) is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love.

What is giving? When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday -- a triple-decker toolbox!" that's not giving. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.

True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements. The first is care, demonstrating active concern for the recipient's life and growth. The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs). The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is." These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge. You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.

OPENING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

The effect of genuine, other-oriented giving is profound. It allows you into another person's world and opens you up to perceiving his or her goodness. At the same time, it means investing part of yourself in the other, enabling you to love this person as you love yourself.
The more you give, the more you love.



Many years ago, I met a woman whom I found very unpleasant. So I decided to try out the "giving leads to love" theory. One day I invited her for dinner. A few days later I offered to help her with a personal problem. On another occasion I read something she'd written and offered feedback and praise. Today we have a warm relationship. The more you give, the more you love. This is why your parents (who've given you more than you'll ever know) undoubtedly love you more than you love them, and you, in turn, will love your own children more than they'll love you.

Because deep, intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but over time -- which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry, and anticipation. These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife give more and more to each other.

A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years. "A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me. "The downs can be really low -- and when you're in one, you have three choices: Leave, stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse."

Dr. Jill Murray (author of "But I Love Him: Protecting Your Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships") writes that if someone mistreats you while professing to love you, remember: "Love is a behavior." A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving -- not only saying, "I love you," but showing it.


=========================================

somewhere I have read: Look at Jesus on the cross. That is love.

LOVE IS A CHOICE
For God love us so much that we are given the freedom of choice.

ACTIONS AFFECT FEELINGS
Giving leads to love. TO learn to love is to learn to give.

OPENING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Let those with eyes to see, see; those with ears to hear, hear;
Open up hearts to let the healer set us free.

I NEED U

Sometimes God never gives us company. It almost seems He has forsaken us. In spite of His promise of never leaving us or forsaking us we feel as if God has indeed forsaken us. He may also choose not to answer our prayers as we expect.

But all this does not deny the reality of God. And His great love towards us in and through His Son Jesus Christ. Neither does it stop Him dwelling within us through the Holy Spirit.

God. I need You !

ORPHANS AT THE GATE

I came across a sad story this week, a story about a honeymoon disaster. The newlyweds arrived at the hotel in the wee hours with high hopes. They'd reserved a larde room with romantic amenities. That's not what they found.

Seems the room was pretty skimpy. The tiny room had no view, no flowers, a cramped bathroom and worst of all - no bed. Just a foldout sofa with a lumpy mattress and sagging springs. It was not what they'd hoped for; consequently, neither was night.

The next morning the sore-necked groom stormed down to the manager's desk and ventilated his anger. After listening patiently for a few minutes, the clerk asked, "Did you open the door in your room?"

The groom admitted he hadn't. He returned to the suite and opened the door he had thought was a closet. There, complete with fruit baskets and chocolates, was a spacious bedroom!

Sigh.

Can't you just see them standing in the doorway of the room they'd overlooked? Oh, it would have been so nice ...

A comfortable bed instead of clumpy sofa.
A curtain-framed window rather than a blank wall.
A fresh breeze in place of stuffy air.
An elaborate restroom, not a tight toilet.

But they missed it. How sad. Cramped, cranky, and uncomfortable while comfort was a door away. They missed it because they thought the door was a closet.

Why didn't you try? I was asking as I read the piece. Get curious. Check it out. Give it a shot. Take a look. Why did you just assume the door led nowhere?


FROM: WHEN GOD WHISPERS YOUR NAME

It is often found that when you see the possibility of a door opening you also start doubting. Most of these doubts are silly. But during this time they appear large and threatening. At this time if you start believing the doubts you will not enjoy the blessing of the open door. For destroying these doubts you will have to boldly say out loud that what God has opened for you no one can shut. You have to believe it with all your heart. You have to affirm it loud to those who try to encourage those doubts in your mind. Yes, shout it out loud that what God has opened no one can shut.


now do I saw an open door or a closed door. Or was it half open? or half way closing?

CLOSED DOORS ARE A BLESSING

Closed Doors are a Blessing

Open doors in life means opportunity, progress and promotion. But unexpectedly certain open doors close. It leaves you desperate. Then you cry out, ``O my God, where are you? Is it all over for me? Open one door for me. Give me a sign of your goodness.1''

This cry comes from desperation. But you as God's child need to be better informed about closed doors. They do not mean that it is the end of the road for you. They do not mean that God has stopped caring for you. But it means quite the opposite. You need to understand the loving care with which God closes doors in your life.

Do not be surprised; you should know for sure that it is God who opens and closes doors in your life. As long as you think it is some human being or institution that does it you are going to be sadly mistaken. If you trust in Jesus; He is the one who opens and closes doors in your life: ``What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open'' (Revelation 2:7b NIV).

Therefore, be sure and fully convinced that the closed doors in your life are His doing. You need not blame anyone for that. You need not curse your circumstances. The best thing to do is to thank God for closing those doors in your life. Is that easy to do? Not at all. But that is the best thing you can do!

Now, if you are convinced that it is God who closes doors, you are ready to think of why He does so:
God closes doors so that you can change directions.

Many times you keep on doing what you do all your life. But God might certainly have better things in store for you. Since you are comfortable doing what you are now doing and good at it; you will never think about changing directions at all. You will never even give it a passing thought. So to get your attention, God will close doors in your face. He will not allow them to be opened again for you however hard you try.

It is only then that you will listen to what God has to say to you. He might whisper to you to try something new, to take up a new job, apply for a promotion etc. Now you are ready to hear and obey. Earlier, when the sailing was smooth, you were happy cruising along. Now that you are without a ship to sail; you will start looking for the next ship, maybe a small boat for the time being, that God has kept ready for you.

For example, in the life of Elijah, God provided him with bread and meat through ravens. And He provided him with water from the brook. But then some time later the brook dried up. That was a door that closed on him. Now God had his attention. A new command then came to him to go at once to Zarephath where God had commanded a widow to provide for him. [That was a new direction in his life.] But he was made ready to listen and obey because of a closed door in his life (Ref. I Kings 17:2--9). Again, the most important thing was that God had closed a door and opened another door for him.

So closed doors in your life are God's attention-grabbers. Thank God for them. He is pointing you to a new direction in life. It's going to be exciting.
God closes doors so that you can learn to pray more.

Isn't it true that doors that are open never inspire you to pray much? That is simply because you take them for granted. You do not give it a second thought. You may be thankful for it; but not consciously giving thanks to God for it. But when the door closes, you suddenly become aware of how much it had meant to you. You feel with awesome helplessness the immovable strength of a closed door shut in your face.

Then, in sheer helplessness, you hit the dust on your knees. And you cry out, ``O God, help me!'' The cry echoes in emptiness. You will feel the pain of rejection. You cry out: ``My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?2'' Still no answer. All is darkness. You feel despair. You feel gnawing emptiness. But you have no other way. You continue to pray until there comes an assurance in your heart that God has heard. His peace settles in your heart. Now you can eagerly expect God to open some door for you.

But the moments just before the door opens are the toughest for it is said that the darkest hour is just before dawn. That means, that the time before you receive the answer to prayer is the darkest. It is then that you need to pray more.

In the Bible we find Daniel in the land of Babylon. He was taken there with the Israelites as captive in war. They were there seventy years. As those years were coming to a close, Daniel understood from the Book of Jeremiah3 that their captivity was coming to an end (Ref. Daniel 9:2). He did not dance about when he understood that. But he prayed with all his heart. He confessed his sins and the sins of his fathers (Ref. Daniel 9:4--19); for if there is sin in one's heart God would not hear prayer4. And there came a King named Cyrus who ordered the survivors of the captives to go back to Jerusalem5.

Thus Daniel prayed intensely in the darkest hour just before the dawn of their freedom. And they got it. And Daniel lived to see the doors of freedom open!

So closed doors teach you to pray more. They grip your heart with such force that you pray like you've never prayed before. And when doors open; you will thankfully realize that you have moved up another level in the prayer ladder. Therefore pray with all your might when doors close on you.
God closes doors so that you will stop trusting in man.

It is only when you have knocked at closed doors that you understand that the help of man cannot be trusted. It is during such times you come to know the true character of those whom you expected would help. You might have been given hope day after day by their soothing words of promise. Until one day you found them telling you not to trouble them anymore. Then you felt the pain of being let down; the pain of having been deceived into believing those words which gave you false hopes.

And now you are alone! But Someone stands alongside, waiting for you to realize that He is standing by. Closed doors do help you to see Him stand by your side. Many times He knocked at your heart to tell you that He is willing to help. But then your eyes and hopes were set on those men who had promised to help. So you never heard His knocking. You never opened the doors for Him.

Now that you find every door closed; you are ready to listen to Him. It is now you are ready to say along with the Psalmist: ``Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm'' (Psalm 20:7,8 NIV). Now you are ready to get rid of those chariots and horses in which you trusted. And now you are ready to see God open doors for you.

So closed doors compels you to stop trusting in man. It helps you see that God alone can open doors for you.
God closes doors so that you will wait for His time.

In the wisdom of this world any time is right. In the eyes of this world there is no concept like waiting for God's specific time. But when God deals with you, His child, He often closes doors so that you will wait for His right time.

You have to know that there are many reasons why God would do this. He does it to prepare circumstances. He prepares them in such a fashion that it will be to your best advantage when His time comes. If you act before His time it will be like plucking an unripe fruit. He knows when it is going to be ripe and ready to be eaten. He closes doors so that you will not pluck the unripe fruit. He will open them only when it is ripe. Then it will be to your best advantage.

In the Bible we see this in the life of Joseph. He was put in prison. There he interpreted the dreams of two men. He told one of them, the chief cupbearer of the king, to remember him when all goes well with him. Joseph also asked him to mention him to Pharaoh and to get his release from prison. Even though the chief cupbearer was restored to his position, the Bible says that he did not remember Joseph but forgot him.

Two full years passed by. Joseph might have lost hope that the cupbearer would get him out of prison. But then God's time came. Pharaoh had dreams. Nobody could interpret them. Then the chief cupbearer remembered Joseph. Immediately, Joseph was brought out of prison. And he became Governor of the land.

It all happened quickly. So also it can happen to you if you wait for God's time. Joseph tried to make his release come in his own time. But God closed the door then. He opened it after two years. This was because God had now prepared the circumstances. Now Joseph became the governor of the land.
Have you ever thought what would have happened if Joseph got his release two years ago? He would have got Have you ever thought what would have happened if Joseph got his release two years ago? He would have got his freedom only to become somebody's slave again!
his freedom only to become somebody's slave again! Have you ever thought what would have happened if Joseph got his release two years ago? He would have got his freedom only to become somebody's slave again!

So closed doors teach you to wait for God's time.
God is preparing you for the task ahead while you wait behind closed doors.

This is a more important process that happens to you while you wait for God's time--God is preparing you for the task ahead. God knows what qualities and strength of character you need to be able to handle the honor that you will be given when He opens doors. For that He allows you to pass through difficulties behind closed doors.

All the waiting, all the hardships and all the misunderstanding and ridicule that you are facing now is building muscles of steely-faith in your mind. You are being molded and shaped by God to meet your glorious destiny. The more tough your closed door; the greater the exaltation God has planned for you.

You can know this lesson from Joseph's life itself: ``And he sent a man before them--Joseph, sold as a slave. They bruised his feet with shackles, his neck was put in irons, till what he foretold came to pass, till the word of the Lord proved him true. The king sent and released him, the ruler of the peoples set him free. He made him master of his household, ruler over all he possessed, to instruct his princes as he pleased and teach his elders wisdom'' (Psalm 105:17--22 NIV).

The dream of greatness was God's promise to Joseph. And He prepared him behind closed doors to give him the exaltation that was promised earlier.

So closed doors guard God's preparation ground to make you ready for the greatness that He has kept in store for you!
The Open Door
Finally, you have to really [think hard] on a claim that Jesus makes: ``See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut'' (Revelation 3:8a NIV).

It is often found that when you see the possibility of a door opening you also start doubting. Most of these doubts are silly. But during this time they appear large and threatening. At this time if you start believing the doubts you will not enjoy the blessing of the open door. For destroying these doubts you will have to boldly say out loud that what God has opened for you no one can shut. You have to believe it with all your heart. You have to affirm it loud to those who try to encourage those doubts in your mind. Yes, shout it out loud that what God has opened no one can shut.

That is the cry of victory. It is the shout of triumph.

Now you can rejoice when God closes doors. For closed doors are a blessing to you. Thank Him for it.

But be bold to declare open closed doors in His name when He gives you the assurance that He has kept an open door before you which no one can shut!

Points to remember:
It is God who opens and closes doors
Closed doors signals change and points to new directions
Closed doors is an incentive to pray more
Closed doors prevents trust in man
Closed doors make you await God's time
God closes prepare you for the task ahead
What God opens no one can shut
Closed doors are a blessing
1. Psalm 86:17a NIV
2. Psalm 22:1a NIV
3. Jeremiah 25:11
4. Psalm 66:18
5. 2 Chronicles 36:22--23, Ezra 1:1—4